Monday, August 10, 2009

first politics, then movies...

According to the media- I am fake angry over healthcare (shout out to Glenn Beck).  I guess I am really fake angry, and all those videos of people protesting are all fake angry, too.  In fact, we are soo fake angry that Harry Reid, Nancy Pelosi and Steny Hoyer have just about had enough of our childish fake angriness.  We had better watch out, because they are telling us to simmer down and stop being fake angry.  Or else.  We need to stop being fake angry, because we are ruining their healthcare bill.  EVERYONE STOP BEING FAKE ANGRY OVER THIS!!!!!!!

 

In related news, Claire McCaskill is so worried about our fake angriness that she has canceled some of her meetings with constituents, although to give her some props, she did acknowledge that the fake angry people did have some legitimate questions.  (Although, I think she is just saying that to try to appease our fake angriness, as she has no intention of listening to childish fake angry tantrums ).  The HONORABLE, REVEREND, IMMACULATE Emmanuel Cleaver IIIIIIIIVXXIIXC, has foregone the public forum route, and has instead opted for a “teletownhall.”  For those not familiar- it is a giant conference call where an operator will decide whether or not to allow you to ask questions.  This is a lot better than a public forum because Cleaver’s staff is able to shush up all those fake angry people that are ruining healthcare reform.  You know, we should stop being fake angry over this, we are starting to make our politicians sweat a little bit, and that might ruin their $400 shirts.  Please, I beg and implore everyone to stop being fake angry over this.  Please.  For the love of Pete, STOP BEING FAKE ANGRY!!!  AND STOP DISSENTING WITH THE MAJESTIC, LORD POWERFUL, HIS HIGHNESS THE EMPEROR LORD PRESIDENT BARACK HUSSEIN OBAMA!!!!  It is giving the appearance that people disagree with him, and he cannot do the work of Lenin with all these fake angry people out there. 

 

Instead of being fake angry, we need to remember this next November, and be Real Angry, and get these chuckleheads out of office.

 

Now on to movies.

 

Sharel and I were convinced that the worst sequel movie we had ever seen was National Treasure 2.  We were wrong, so very wrong.  The worst sequel movie we have ever seen is now the Mummy 3.  Like National Treasure, The Mummy was a good entertaining movie, that did fairly well.  The Mummy 2 was not as good as the first one, but still quite enjoyable to watch.  First the upside to Mummy 3- no Rachel Weisz.  That is the only upside I can think of.

 

If any of you have seen this, do you get the impression that the writers watched the Indiana Jones series before writing this?  If any of you saw Indian Jones 4: the Painful Death of a Beloved Franchise, do you recall what Indy did during the war?  Espionage.  And do you recall what Rick O’Connell and Not Rachel Weisz did during the war?  You guessed it, espionage.

 

Was there a secret society guarding the Chinese Mummy, sort of like the secret society guarding the Chalice in Indiana Jones 3: Indy Made More Awesome with the Addition of Sean Connery.  Also did you notice that Rick O’Connell got stabbed, and the only thing that could save him was the pool at Shangri-La, just like only holy water from the Cup could save Indy’s dad?

 

Or the Chinese Army that wanted the eye of Shangri La to become invinvicible, like the Nazis throughout the Indy Jones Franchise.

 

The father son conflict?

 

Anyway, even considering all these are just coincidences, it still is “The Mummy, Redux”.  Nothing original in it.  A few Sharel Observations:

Why put a curse on him, why not just strike him dead with a disease?

Why after putting an insane curse on him, would you give him an out where he becomes almost indestructible? (after dipping in the pool of Shagri-La he can turn into anything he wants, but mostly a dragon, some sort of hoofed beast, and Al Gore.)

How come he “partook” of the waters of Shangri-La, but was still not technically immortal, since a dagger through the heart made him throw up fire and disintegrate?

Yetis?  Really?

Why does Rick and Not Rachel Weisz find it so unbelievable that a magic dagger is the only thing that could kill the walking clay pot?  Think about it.

Not Rachel Weisz has a pure heart because she doesn’t want her husband killed?  Really? 

After that, Sharel fell asleep, so she didn’t have many more observations, and I watched it with the Subs on in 2x fast forward mode.  I was able to read the subtitles and got through the movie in half the time.  Which, if you happen to see it at all, is the only way to watch it.

 

Peace- I’m Out!

 

2 comments:

L S. "Spencer" Olsen said...

You did not heed my warning...
http://spencerswordpit.blogspot.com/2008/08/couple-of-things.html

Merilee said...

Seriously, I thought the first Mummy kind of sucked.