State of the Union Cliff notes...

For those of you that didn’t sit through the 1 hour and 10 minute long State of the Union Address, here is a brief synopsis of what was said:

 

“Blah blah blah blah, I, my, I, Bush’s fault, Bush’s fault, blah, blah blah blah, I, my, mine, Bush’s fault, Bush’s fault, blah blah blah, Republicans fault, blah blah blah blah, listen and obey me, I’m great, welcome your ideas, as long as they are mine, blah, blah, blah, blah, Bush’s fault, don’t blame me, evil Bankers and Wall Street, blah blah blah blah blah, Bush’s fault, blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah, I’m great, my ideas are infallible, have the courage to agree with me without question, blah blah blah blah, blah.  Once again, my fellow Americans- everything bad happening is Bush’s fault, some of it is Wall Streets fault.  Don’t be mad at me.  I have the best ideas ever, and you are welcome to share your ideas, but just as long as they are really my ideas- it’s the only way I will consider them.  To you democrats that are listening to your constituents- stop, stop right now, have the courage to stand by me, even if you don’t get re-elected.  Stop listening to your constituents.  Republicans- if none of you will vote for my ideas, rest assured, if my ideas fail, we will still blame you for the failure anyway.  I am great, I am relating to the common man out there, because I have a low level staff intern read your letters, and then creatively tell me what I want to hear.  One time, I also stopped at a McD’s to take a kingly deuce.  Now after that experience, who can tell me I don’t relate to the common man.  And because I relate to you- the common man, or woman- I know what’s best for you, because I am smart, I went to Harvard, smoked dope and even cocaine once.  But don’t worry about that, I could explain, but your feeble, common minds wouldn’t understand.  Allright, I suppose we are finished here- oh, one last thing- congress- stop perpetually campaigning, no one likes it.  There you have it folks, vote for me in 2012…I mean that is the State of our Union!!!  PEACE!! I’M OUT!!!”

just for fun

A classic:

a few thoughts

So Obama had a closed door meeting with his top security people the other day.  News sources tell us that Obama was quite blunt about the failure of security on Christmas Day – here is what is purported to have been said- http://www.nydailynews.com/blogs/dc/2010/01/obama-dresses-down-his-intel-a.html

 

I have it on good authority that the meeting went something more like this (the unreported comments are in italics):

 

“This was a screw up that could have been disastrous to my image and presidency” Obama told his war council and national security advisers in the Situation Room meeting. “You dodged a bullet but just barely. If that plane would have been blown up, my political future would be in serious jeopardy. As it stands, this little failure on your part disrupted my vacation, disrupted my golfing, and has made me very cranky.  This is not acceptable.  Now I have to get up and give a speech on my vacation.  Now look, I agree with the next person that the plane did not get blown up, so what is the big deal? Right?  Wrong- it’s a big deal because it is making me look bad.  Now we were successful in convincing people the Ft. Hood shooting was the work of a deranged, lone gunman, instead of a terrorist attack.  I tried in my speech I gave a few days after the attempted bombing to blame this on the work of a lone, isolated individual, but that has not worked.  I am trying to get large portions of the private sector under government control before I lose the majorities in the House and Senate, and this little episode is distracting me, and it is distracting the proletariat.  On top of all this, some of my most ardent supporters are criticizing me for my detached, unemotional speech about this attempted attack 3 days after it happened.  You would look unemotional too, if you had to get out of your golf shorts, and into a suit, and go and talk to the media instead of relaxing.  This attempted attack has really hurt my image, and that is not acceptable.

 “While there will be a tendency for fingerpointing at me, I will not tolerate it, I will throw all of you, and your families under the bus if I need to.  Mark my words, if something like this happens again, I will ruin each and every one of you.  I cannot stress enough how important I am, and what people think of me.  This type of stuff is the stuff that makes me look bad.  Now, just to clarify- I know that I promised an end to terrorism when I was elected.  I know we blamed terrorism on Bush, and it worked.  This is what the people that voted for me thought.  The truth is that terrorism began long before Bush, and will probably continue long after.  I know this, and you should know it.  The American people, however, should not know this.  It is your job to quietly prevent things like this from happening so I can be the great savior that stopped terrorism because I am not Bush” Obama also said.

The leaders of each administration agency and department took responsibility for failures to make Obama look good at their respective organizations.

 

Now- a few predictions for the Red Dawn remake-

America will be to blame for getting attacked- probably in the form of our greed causing the economic recession, or some other such nonsense.

The Wolverines will secure firearms from criminals, as only criminals have guns.

None of the wolverines will know the first thing about handling a firearm, they will all need to be trained by Jed, who in this version is a Marine Veteran from Iraq.

Somewhere in the film, the terrorists who plant roadside bombs in Iraq and Afghanistan will be painted as simple freedom fighters, trying to drive foreign occupiers out of their land like the Wolverines, rather than foreign jihadists who entered Iraq for the sole purpose of killing American Troops.

Somewhere in the film, the Middle Easterner will be portrayed as intellectually and culturally far more advanced that the brutish Americans, despite the treatment of women and only wiping their rear end with their left hand.

Towards the end of the film, we will be introduced to the sympathetic invader, who only had our best interests at heart, and could really help us.

Mark my words, most, if not all of these will be elements in the upcoming Red Dawn remake.

Peace- I’m out!