State of the Union Cliff notes...

For those of you that didn’t sit through the 1 hour and 10 minute long State of the Union Address, here is a brief synopsis of what was said:

 

“Blah blah blah blah, I, my, I, Bush’s fault, Bush’s fault, blah, blah blah blah, I, my, mine, Bush’s fault, Bush’s fault, blah blah blah, Republicans fault, blah blah blah blah, listen and obey me, I’m great, welcome your ideas, as long as they are mine, blah, blah, blah, blah, Bush’s fault, don’t blame me, evil Bankers and Wall Street, blah blah blah blah blah, Bush’s fault, blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah, I’m great, my ideas are infallible, have the courage to agree with me without question, blah blah blah blah, blah.  Once again, my fellow Americans- everything bad happening is Bush’s fault, some of it is Wall Streets fault.  Don’t be mad at me.  I have the best ideas ever, and you are welcome to share your ideas, but just as long as they are really my ideas- it’s the only way I will consider them.  To you democrats that are listening to your constituents- stop, stop right now, have the courage to stand by me, even if you don’t get re-elected.  Stop listening to your constituents.  Republicans- if none of you will vote for my ideas, rest assured, if my ideas fail, we will still blame you for the failure anyway.  I am great, I am relating to the common man out there, because I have a low level staff intern read your letters, and then creatively tell me what I want to hear.  One time, I also stopped at a McD’s to take a kingly deuce.  Now after that experience, who can tell me I don’t relate to the common man.  And because I relate to you- the common man, or woman- I know what’s best for you, because I am smart, I went to Harvard, smoked dope and even cocaine once.  But don’t worry about that, I could explain, but your feeble, common minds wouldn’t understand.  Allright, I suppose we are finished here- oh, one last thing- congress- stop perpetually campaigning, no one likes it.  There you have it folks, vote for me in 2012…I mean that is the State of our Union!!!  PEACE!! I’M OUT!!!”