Snowacalypse 2009 update...

We are going into hour 8 of this horrible wintry-mix storm here in the Kansas City Metro area.  This storm reeks of evil, it is sneaky and smart.  We all need to be on alert for the impending doom.  So far, it has only rained, but there is no telling what this storm will do.  Don’t let down your guard for a second.  There is just no telling what is going to happen over the next 24 hours.

 

By some miracle, we are still alive.  What our fates will be over the next 24 hours- no one knows.  I just hope that I will see another day here in the epicenter of the Great Wintry-Mix Storm of 2009.

WINTRY-MIX APOCALYPSE 2009!!!!!!!

I HOPE ALL IN THE KANSAS CITY AREA HAVE PREPARED FOR THE INCOMING WINTRY-MIX WE WILL HAVE TOMMORROW.  ACCORDING TO SOME METEOROLOGISTS WE MAY GET INCHES OF SNOW, INCHES!,  LIKE BETWEEN 1 AND 2 INCHES!  MIXED WITH PERIODS OF RAIN!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Seriously though, I hope everyone is prepared, because it will take FEMA at least 96 hours to get to your house to save you from this epic wintry-mix storm that is about to vex us.  I warned you and so have all the networks and their weather guys throughout the Kansas City area, so don’t come trekking to my house to take advantage of our 96 hour kits.  Why, KCTV 5, the local “Hard Hitting, Investigative” news program had a live report from a hardware store that was being overrun by an old lady getting ice-melt for her steps.  The horrid sight of that old bag running amok through the hardware store was almost more than I could take.  I mean, even though employees outnumbered the one customer at a 10:1 ratio, it was still horrifying to see the panic on her face as she quickly scooted her walker up and down the aisles.  That is a scene that will haunt my dreams for years to come.  I just wish I could get a bullhorn and shout “CALM DOWN!!” to everyone who is frantically stocking up for the snow/rain mix we are going to get tomorrow.  I think December 8, 2009 will go down in history as one of the worst wintry-mix storms of the last two centuries.  To the Tennessee Olsen’s - don’t ever forget us, ever.  Keep our memories alive, our souls lit bright in the memorials of your memories.  And, if by some miracle we make it out alive, we’ll be sure to keep the flame of life memories burning for those that were not so fortunate.  Remember…I love you all, and hope to be able to write again…only time will tell if I can make it through this wintry-mix.

A purpose...

There are some who read my blog that may wonder what my purpose is in writing.  Is it to inform, to persuade, perhaps to educate?  Nope, it is not any of those.  The 3 or 4 people who read my blog I am sure agree with the things I say, and the others who may stumble here now and then may wonder why anyone cares to read my deep thoughts.  So, what is my purpose?  It is purely for selfish reasons that I write this blog.  I write first of all to vent my frustrations with things going on around me, not so people know, but just for therapeutic reasons.  The second reason I write is to have contact and communication with my extended family.  Knowing they read my blog, and I theirs helps to keep me feeling close to them.  These are really the only reasons I write, in case you ever wondered “who cares?” when reading my blog.

 

And by the way, Grant is being potty trained (finally!) and is confusing “poop” and “pee”- he thinks they both refer to the act of urinating.  We had to come up with another way to describe the act of the bowel movement, and somehow what he landed on to describe a BM is “stinky brown”.  Just thought everyone should know…

 

Gotta go and make a stinky brown- Peace, I’m out!

 

P.S. On a side note- we had better make sure we don’t feed Grant any Fruit Loops, as then he would be really confused as to why what is supposed to be stinky brown is now stinky green.

Things I learnt listenin to the radio

This morning on my way into work I learned two things I had not known before- I learned that being shot in a drug deal gone south and then having your body burned in a house fire to cover up the crime “could happen to anyone” and the other thing is too long and drawn out to sum up in a sentence.

 

Back to the first issue- a very sad story, and  I not trying to make fun of what happened, merely what was said about it.  Apparently one of the morning shows around here had interviewed some girl who was an “escort”.  They found out over the weekend that this lady’s body was found in a house fire.  The investigators have ruled it a homicide, as the bodies were shot and then the house set on fire to try to cover up the crime.  They had an acquaintance of this lady on to see if there were any new developments, and in the course of the conversation, the acquaintence mentioned that because this happened to her friend, it just goes to show that it “could happen to anyone”.  I suppose that is technically true, but I imagine you drastically lessen your odds this happening by taking certain small measures, such as not dating a drug dealer.  As I said, this is an unfortunate story, and no one deserves this fate, regardless of what your life is like, it was the flippant way in which the chuckleheads on the radio discussed this as if it was a car accident, rather than a homicide.

 

Minutes after this story, the shock jocks had George Carlin’s daughter on, who is promoting the last book Carlin wrote before passing.  If we all remember correctly, George Carlin was Rufus on “Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure”, to others he was the comic who became famous in the 70’s for his bit about the F-word.  He was quite the social commentator, much the way Bill Maher is now, always pointing out the sheer ignorance and stupidity of religion and capitalism.  As his daughter related, he was always trying to point out our ignorance, and he happened to do it through comedy.  Ok- so they were discussing his disdain for capitalism, and his awe of socialism, and then all of a sudden the conversation turned to how he made millions and millions in the 70’s, and didn’t pay taxes on it, so the IRS came in and cleaned him out, forcing him to work well into his later years, all the wealth gone, just making ends meet. Now, Isn’t there a certain irony to someone who abhors those “selfish” capitalists, sings the praises of a socialized everything, yet neglects to pay his taxes?

 

Bryan's 80's musings...

A funny thing happened this morning...

Jimmy Carter, Al Gore, and Yasser Arafat (I know he’s dead, but pretend he is alive so this will be funny) were sitting around the Super Friends headquarters when they received a cryptic message from Oslo, Norway.  The message told of an old legend regarding their Noble Peace Prize medals.  The spirit of Nobel had forged three Medals in the fires of Mount Obtuse.  This gave the medals great power, to someday be able to summon a star child, who would unite a world fallen in shambles from the great evil triumvirate- Religion, Capitalism, and Personal Responsibility.  The message went on to state that now was the time to summon the Star Child.  Universal Healthcare was on the verge of collapse, US Troops are on the brink of not being killed in Afghanistan by being reinforced, and people everywhere were beginning to complain about enormous government programs.  Only the Star Child could bring hope and peace, and change of hope and peace to an otherwise lost world.  The three medals of legend were now with three chosen for their different virtues- Carter, the Peace Maker, Gore, the Protectorate of the Environment, and Arafat, the Killer of Jews.  “Unite the medals!  Unite! For the time of the Star Child is at hand!”

Carter, Arafat and Gore stood and thrust forth their medals- “I bring the spirit of peace!”  “ I bring the spirit of the environment!”  “I bring the spirit of Jew hating!”  “With our powers combined we get…”           Well, you know the rest of the story.  (if you stop playing online poker and read the news!)

PWN'D

Looks like Obamamamama just got pwnd by the rest of the world. Or, perhaps it is much more like Glenn Beck described it- EPIC FAIL. Whatever it was, I am filled with warm fuzzies inside at the thought of how all the media was just so sure, so giddy, that Chicago was to win. After all, it only could be a slam dunk since the Ego-in-Chief flew over there. And then, to come in the very last place- why not even in the top two. I guess the media got pwnd, too. Either way- I laughed out loud, and then laughed some more. Do you think SNL will make fun of this?

Hilarious

"I feel like I'm taking crazy pills!"

News flash!  Apparently as long as you win an Academy award, it is ok to drug and rape and sodomize a 13 year old, or so thinks the “finger on the pulse of everyday Americans” Hollywood Mafioso.  Hasn’t he suffered enough- living in Paris as a free man for 30 years, making movies, making money, living in the lap of luxury?  Don’t we all feel the same as actress Debra Winger, who said “We stand by him and await his release and his next masterpiece.”?

 

I never thought I would see the day- even the New York Times and NPR don’t agree with Hollywood.  They have both come out in support of the arrest.  I am truly baffled that anyone, ANYONE, would think what he did isn’t a big enough deal to warrant punishment.  I can make two conclusions out of all of this- that most of Hollywood have zero morals- as long as you make “masterpieces” such as the satanic “Rosemary’s Baby”, or Harvey Weinstein and the rest of Hollywood dream of the day when they can do the same to a 13 year old and get away with it.

Deep thoughts

“Now obviously, the worst thing that can happen to a Socialist is to have himself openly identified with the work of the Communists who are generally feared and despised.  The Socialists know they cannot seize property and power by “due process of law” unless they are politically popular, therefore, they try desperately to avoid the taint of the Communists and present their program so that it appears “moral,” “democratic,” “peaceful,” and so “gradual” that people will not resist it.” – Ezra Taft Benson Church News 12/23/1961

 

“History teaches that when individuals have given up looking after their own economic needs and transferred a large share of that responsibility to the government, both they and the government have failed.  At least twenty great civilizations have disappeared.  The pattern is shockingly similar.  All, before their collapse, showed a decline in spiritual values, in moral stamina, and in the freedom and responsibility for their citizens.  They showed such symptoms as deficit spending, excessive taxation, bloated bureaucracy, government paternalism, and generally a rather elaborate set of supports, controls and regulations, affecting prices, wages, productions, and consumption.”  - Ezra Taft Benson, BYU 2/28/1962

Overheard tidbits of truth? from Hollywood...

From the movie “State of Play” –

Russell Crowe’s character explaining some evidence found at a crime scene-

I’m paraphrasing here-  “The shooter used reloads; untraceable.  He also used heavier bullets he cast himself, twice the weight of bullets you can buy at the store.  That means the shooter intended to kill.” 

So, in Hollywood’s proverbial wisdom, light bullets in an assassins gun are not meant to kill, while heavier bullets are for killing.  And also because the guy was shot in the back and the head, that means only ex-military.  Cause no one else with a gun could possibly shoot a guy twice- once in the head and once in the back.  Remember- this was the movie that had Brad Pitt cast as the lead, but the script was so bad he bailed ship.

Excuse my nerdery, which is still cooler than Spencer’s nerdery.

Peace- I’m out.

 

 

BEHOLD!!!

And what fine piece of machinery do your eyes behold? Why only the finest off-road vehicle ever conceived by the mind of man! A Chevy K5 Blazer. Why do I bring this up? Well, my truck is about kaput, and so Sharel and I have been shopping around. Due to the distinct lack of anything for $1500 that will run, we have decided to wait until we get our tax refund, and then pool some of it with the $1500 and buy me a new vehicle. Well, I saw one of these the other day, and an old flame was rekindled. I have wanted one of these since we lived in Utah and I was the ripe old age of 4. Since then I have seen these around and yes, I lust after them. I know they are horribly prone to rust, horrible gas mileage (but my truck gets terrible mpg, so I figure it is a lateral move) not to mention other problems, but parts are cheap and plentiful, as well as knowledge pools from a host of people who have rebuilt these from the ground up. Sharel is all for it, especially since I can pick up one that has had the engine rebuilt and a new tranny in it for around $3000. So, Bo, and Spencer, eat your heart out! Not only do I have guns, but I will also round out my redneckness with the ultimate vehicle, cause nothin says "clingin' to guns and religion" more than a 1987 Chevy K5 Blazer with a 6 inch lift.

Reflections

Today is Sept. 11.  I had completely put it out of my mind what the significance of this day was until I was on my way to work and heard a reminder on the radio.  It brought back a flood of feelings and memories, where I was when I first heard the news, what I thought, the day spent in front of a little black and white television in the office, the reports of gasoline being sold for $5-$6 a gallon, and the shock of that day.  I recall standing on the Phelps Road bridge over I-70 with Sharel watching the sunset.  It was an absolutely beautiful day, the temperature was perfect, the sky was a very vibrant blue.  Things seemed very surreal for the next couple of weeks.  I remember after a week wishing that they would stop showing the hole in the ground in Manhattan on the TV- I wanted some sort of distraction from what had happened.

People say that something fundamentally changed that day, and I guess I would have to agree.  I am not sure what it was, but perhaps we all were a little more humble, a little more aware of the important things in life, especially after the relatively carefree days of the 90’s.  There was certainly a lot of anger, calls for vengeance were strong.  But most of all, I think there was an air of love and support.  We were kinder to each other, took time to understand.  My generation felt a sense of duty, and many of my friends and people I went to school with joined the military.  Politics were set aside for a while, and everyone at the time agreed on the course of action.

But time seems to have destroyed all of the fellowship we had with each other.  It appears we live in a completely different world.  We are less tolerant of others views we snipe, and feel hatred and anger every day we listen to the news.  There is a power struggle going on, and things have reached a fever pitch, there is no discussion, but rather name calling and denigrating from every one.  Don’t misunderstand; there are serious things going on right now that will have serious repercussions for our nation, things we must stand up to.  I guess I just yearn a little for the smiles from strangers that have been replaced by paranoia and cynicism.  But we must fight, figuratively speaking, for the rights we have been given. 

In writing this, I am reminded of President Lincoln’s Proclamation establishing Thanksgiving.  While speaking of the many temporal blessings and things to be thankful for, Lincoln said:

No human counsel hath devised nor hath any mortal hand worked out these great things. They are the gracious gifts of the Most High God, who, while dealing with us in anger for our sins, hath nevertheless remembered mercy. It has seemed to me fit and proper that they should be solemnly, reverently and gratefully acknowledged as with one heart and one voice by the whole American People. I do therefore invite my fellow citizens in every part of the United States, and also those who are at sea and those who are sojourning in foreign lands, to set apart and observe the last Thursday of November next, as a day of Thanksgiving and Praise to our beneficent Father who dwelleth in the Heavens. And I recommend to them that while offering up the ascriptions justly due to Him for such singular deliverances and blessings, they do also, with humble penitence for our national perverseness and disobedience, commend to His tender care all those who have become widows, orphans, mourners or sufferers in the lamentable civil strife in which we are unavoidably engaged, and fervently implore the interposition of the Almighty Hand to heal the wounds of the nation and to restore it as soon as may be consistent with the Divine purposes to the full enjoyment of peace, harmony, tranquillity and Union.

We do live in a perverse and wicked time, a time when our nation is divided, when sin is rampant all over.  Reading the Book of Mormon we see that we, too, are in a pride cycle.  The Lord saw fit to compel us to humility, and for a season we were.  Now I fear what is next, as we have forgotten the many blessings the Lord has given us.  Thanksgiving no more is a day where we remember blessings from Heavenly Father, but rather a day where we are thankful to the Indians for giving the Pilgrims food, we are thankful that there are 23 football games on the TV to choose from, or we are thankful that we can glutton ourselves on ham and pie.  I wonder what it will take for us as a society to be humble.  I think I can predict with some certainty that whatever it is, it is going to hurt.  Abraham Lincoln called on the American people to repent during the civil war, and we have a modern day prophet who has called on us to do the same.  President Hinckley told us in October of 2001 that “Our safety lies in repentance. Our strength comes of obedience to the commandments of God.”  The last part of his talk was so very good, and comforting:

Now, brothers and sisters, we must do our duty, whatever that duty might be. Peace may be denied for a season. Some of our liberties may be curtailed. We may be inconvenienced. We may even be called on to suffer in one way or another. But God our Eternal Father will watch over this nation and all of the civilized world who look to Him. He has declared, "Blessed is the nation whose God is the Lord" (Ps. 33:12). Our safety lies in repentance. Our strength comes of obedience to the commandments of God.

Let us be prayerful. Let us pray for righteousness. Let us pray for the forces of good. Let us reach out to help men and women of goodwill, whatever their religious persuasion and wherever they live. Let us stand firm against evil, both at home and abroad. Let us live worthy of the blessings of heaven, reforming our lives where necessary and looking to Him, the Father of us all. He has said, "Be still, and know that I am God" (Ps. 46:10).

Are these perilous times? They are. But there is no need to fear. We can have peace in our hearts and peace in our homes. We can be an influence for good in this world, every one of us.

May the God of heaven, the Almighty, bless us, help us, as we walk our various ways in the uncertain days that lie ahead. May we look to Him with unfailing faith. May we worthily place our reliance on His Beloved Son who is our great Redeemer, whether it be in life or in death, is my prayer in His holy name, even the name of Jesus Christ, amen

I don’t know, I am rambling, just putting to words what is going through my head.  But my thoughts keep running back to our military men and women.  They have so valiantly fought for us here, for our freedoms.  I am sure we take them for granted, I know I do.  Sometimes I wish I had the courage they have, to volunteer to participate in what Elder Hartman Rector, Jr. called “the greatest evil known to man”, war.  Someone sent a photo essay out.  The photos showed a Marine Officer who had the unenviable position of notifying next of kin of fallen soldiers.  I almost couldn’t get through it here at work.  I hope I never forget the sacrifice that not only the soldiers have made, but also their families, have made. 

For me, this September day has been a thoughtful and reflective day.  The anger I have felt in the past few weeks at those who run our government have faded a bit, as I have tried to remember the blessings I have.  Perhaps more than getting angry, I should pray, pray for forgiveness, not only for myself, but for the country.  Perhaps I should pray for Heavenly Father to help us love each other again, to be able to, as Lincoln put it, ‘”heal the wounds” we have.  I have never seen the level of hate we have right now in my short life, and I know I am guilty of it as well.  I think we all need to take a moment and reflect, and rather than a “National Day of Service”, we need a day of prayer and fasting.

Anyway- Peace, I’m out.

Photo Essay http://www.time.com/time/photoessays/iraq_war_families/

 

Hahahahaha...

Which one are you...

 

In regards to the recent brouhaha over healthcare, the media attempted to throw a label on those opposed to ObamaCare.  At first we were just “fake angry”, then we were “ignorant” hillbillies (although they dropped the hillbilly part so as not to offend hills).  Now we are racists.  This whole debate has very little to do with resistance to a brilliant plan that would put us on the path to European socialism, but more to do with white people upset that there is a black man in office.

Spencer blogged about the dude in New Hampshire open carrying, and now it seems more and more people are exercising their rights to legally carry firearms to these rallies.  In Arizona, on guy decided he would sling his AR-15 across his back and carry that as well.  Now, I know some of you squirmy readers of my blog may be a little shocked, and may think that these people carrying are being stupid, but I say to you that they are perfectly within their rights to do so, and the more people that exercise those rights, the more we show the aristocracy in this country that we still care about the constitution.  Anyway, the media used this example to show that racists are protesting, and carrying a WMD on their hip is a not so subtle threat to the president.  Well, they failed to point out that the gentleman with the rifle was himself, black.  Newbusters has a great piece on this- View article...

 

Well, now that we have that out of the way, which one are you? 

Are you fake angry, just upset that your guy didn’t get elected (I am not sure if McCain was anyone’s “guy”).

Or are you just plain old ignorant, too dumb to know that this healthcare bill is really, really, really good for you?

Perhaps you are a racist, upset that the white power vacuum in the US has been breached by one of “them”?

Now I know you are saying that there should be a fourth category, the one in which you are none of the above, but actually have valid concerns and disagreements over ObamaCare.  But come on, that is just plain silly, and I don’t know if I want to entertain that idea in my blog.

Also, I don’t want my blog to be reported to flag@whitehouse.gov and have Rahm Emmanuel “straighten” me out on ObamaCare.  So, please, no criticisms of the plan.

Peace- I’m out.

NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Please say it ain’t so…please…please…

http://www.ew.com/ew/article/0,,20211215,00.html

They are remaking Red Dawn.

Why?  Why?  They are sure to ruin it.  My life is over…

 

An epiphany...

Sharel and I have been shaking our heads the past few weeks, and to a lesser extent for the past few years over how our democrat party politicians treat their constituents.  I was flabbergasted when Claire McCaskill admitted on a local radio show that although the majority of the calls coming into her office urged her to vote against the stimulus bill, she would ignore it because it did not represent everyone in her district.   It never computed in my mind why you would ignore the majority of your constituents.  After all, this is a representative republic, where we send representatives to Washington that will articulate the majority views of their districts.  I have spent many an hour trying to wrap my head around this break in logic.

But, today I had an epiphany.  A staple of the Democratic party is sticking up for the minorities, and I am not talking ethnic minorities, but the minority thought, the ideas that a lesser part of the people believe in.  This is how they can justify it.  When you combine the liberal elitist thinking that  majority thought is uninformed, sheep-like thought, then it is easy to see why they will still support things that most of their constituents don’t want.  Look at any hippie, or any college student, and their big thing is to be a “non-conformist”, by conforming to a group with less membership.  This explains why the dope smoking, Elvis Costello hat wearing, indie-music listening college student abhors the oppression of Tibetans, but is A-ok with the oppression of the Iraqi people.  Just look at him- drinking crappy overpriced coffee, his hatred of Wal-Mart and Jews/Christians, while working on his macbook listening to an indie-band (which is code for crap band).  Everything he does is to deliberately avoid the appearance of being part of the majority crowd. 

Liberal politicians are really just old hippies.  Plain and simple- they do not like to be identified with anything resembling the majority in this country.  Or, more than likely, they can’t stand the idea of people making choices and decisions without them.  After all, I’ve never met a liberal who wasn’t smarter than everyone else in the room (for proof, just watch an episode of “Whale Wars”, or just go down to the Westport Coffee house and strike up a conversation with any one).

On a side note, it is funny to see some of the liberal sites and the outrage they are displaying because their tactics have been hijacked.  Yes, there has been an organized effort to oppose healthcare, but big deal, what’s wrong with that?  After all, Premier Obama himself was a young community organizer before the party apparatchik noticed his commitment to freeing the oppressed peoples of the United States from the infernal system of democracy currently in place.  So why are the great unwashed so upset now that conservatives are doing the same thing?  Once again, I will refer you to “Whale Wars”.  I know only 4 people read my blog, and I am sure all have seen whale wars, but just in case- Whale Wars is a show on Animal Planet consisting of a group of young, environmentally conscious activists on a boat in the Antarctic harassing Japanese whalers.  The head of this ragtag group of know-it-alls is a founding member of GreenPeace, but is such a monumental a** that GreenPeace voted unanimously to kick him out.  The entertainment value that lies within the show is watching a bunch of liberal, hippie, elitists epically fail at everything they do. Seriously, if it wasn’t a documentary, it would most certainly be a comedy on the scale of 30 Rock or Scrubs.  As I mentioned earlier, just watch the show to see how they all think they are smarter than everyone else, and how they cry and are honestly  offended when the Japanese whalers use the hippies tactics against them.  Exactly what is happening now on a grand scale with these townhalls.  After all- Bush+Hitler= Free Speech, but Obama+Hitler=racist, hate speech that must be stopped.  To end- forget all the holocaust stuff, and look at who the Nazis were- National Socialists.  Now, which side of the political spectrum does this most closely relate?  I think the democrats at this point should pay Pelosi’s Doctor next time she gets a Botox injection to stick it in her vocal cords and shut that woman up.  (Pelosi is the one who brought Nazis into this whole debate)

Summary of my post:

1.        Liberals abhor the thought of any idea that is shared by a majority of the populace.

2.       Liberals think they are the smartest in the room

3.       Whale Wars=Fail (watch this Friday because they totally get pwned by the Japanese)

4.       Liberals=hypocrites of monumental proportions

5.       Most oppressive governments have been to the left of the political spectrum (they would most certainly have to be, since less government means less chances for authoritarian and totalitarian governments, and the Nazis were no more right wing extremists than Arlen Spectre is a conservative.)

Peace- I’m out.

first politics, then movies...

According to the media- I am fake angry over healthcare (shout out to Glenn Beck).  I guess I am really fake angry, and all those videos of people protesting are all fake angry, too.  In fact, we are soo fake angry that Harry Reid, Nancy Pelosi and Steny Hoyer have just about had enough of our childish fake angriness.  We had better watch out, because they are telling us to simmer down and stop being fake angry.  Or else.  We need to stop being fake angry, because we are ruining their healthcare bill.  EVERYONE STOP BEING FAKE ANGRY OVER THIS!!!!!!!

 

In related news, Claire McCaskill is so worried about our fake angriness that she has canceled some of her meetings with constituents, although to give her some props, she did acknowledge that the fake angry people did have some legitimate questions.  (Although, I think she is just saying that to try to appease our fake angriness, as she has no intention of listening to childish fake angry tantrums ).  The HONORABLE, REVEREND, IMMACULATE Emmanuel Cleaver IIIIIIIIVXXIIXC, has foregone the public forum route, and has instead opted for a “teletownhall.”  For those not familiar- it is a giant conference call where an operator will decide whether or not to allow you to ask questions.  This is a lot better than a public forum because Cleaver’s staff is able to shush up all those fake angry people that are ruining healthcare reform.  You know, we should stop being fake angry over this, we are starting to make our politicians sweat a little bit, and that might ruin their $400 shirts.  Please, I beg and implore everyone to stop being fake angry over this.  Please.  For the love of Pete, STOP BEING FAKE ANGRY!!!  AND STOP DISSENTING WITH THE MAJESTIC, LORD POWERFUL, HIS HIGHNESS THE EMPEROR LORD PRESIDENT BARACK HUSSEIN OBAMA!!!!  It is giving the appearance that people disagree with him, and he cannot do the work of Lenin with all these fake angry people out there. 

 

Instead of being fake angry, we need to remember this next November, and be Real Angry, and get these chuckleheads out of office.

 

Now on to movies.

 

Sharel and I were convinced that the worst sequel movie we had ever seen was National Treasure 2.  We were wrong, so very wrong.  The worst sequel movie we have ever seen is now the Mummy 3.  Like National Treasure, The Mummy was a good entertaining movie, that did fairly well.  The Mummy 2 was not as good as the first one, but still quite enjoyable to watch.  First the upside to Mummy 3- no Rachel Weisz.  That is the only upside I can think of.

 

If any of you have seen this, do you get the impression that the writers watched the Indiana Jones series before writing this?  If any of you saw Indian Jones 4: the Painful Death of a Beloved Franchise, do you recall what Indy did during the war?  Espionage.  And do you recall what Rick O’Connell and Not Rachel Weisz did during the war?  You guessed it, espionage.

 

Was there a secret society guarding the Chinese Mummy, sort of like the secret society guarding the Chalice in Indiana Jones 3: Indy Made More Awesome with the Addition of Sean Connery.  Also did you notice that Rick O’Connell got stabbed, and the only thing that could save him was the pool at Shangri-La, just like only holy water from the Cup could save Indy’s dad?

 

Or the Chinese Army that wanted the eye of Shangri La to become invinvicible, like the Nazis throughout the Indy Jones Franchise.

 

The father son conflict?

 

Anyway, even considering all these are just coincidences, it still is “The Mummy, Redux”.  Nothing original in it.  A few Sharel Observations:

Why put a curse on him, why not just strike him dead with a disease?

Why after putting an insane curse on him, would you give him an out where he becomes almost indestructible? (after dipping in the pool of Shagri-La he can turn into anything he wants, but mostly a dragon, some sort of hoofed beast, and Al Gore.)

How come he “partook” of the waters of Shangri-La, but was still not technically immortal, since a dagger through the heart made him throw up fire and disintegrate?

Yetis?  Really?

Why does Rick and Not Rachel Weisz find it so unbelievable that a magic dagger is the only thing that could kill the walking clay pot?  Think about it.

Not Rachel Weisz has a pure heart because she doesn’t want her husband killed?  Really? 

After that, Sharel fell asleep, so she didn’t have many more observations, and I watched it with the Subs on in 2x fast forward mode.  I was able to read the subtitles and got through the movie in half the time.  Which, if you happen to see it at all, is the only way to watch it.

 

Peace- I’m Out!

 

i am soo sad...

Sharel and I were watching videos on youtube last night, and we came across movie trailers.  I watched two incredibly awesome trailers, but they left me with a lonely, hurt and wounded feeling in my heart.  They are rated R.  I won’t be able to see them, in all their splendid splendidness.  Anyway, the two movies in question:  “Moon” with Sam Rockwell, and “District 9”.  I don’t know who is in “District 9”, but youtube both of these trailers. 

 

Sharel made an astute observation- have you ever noticed that for the last couple of years, Hollywood has been making some great action movies that are not rated R?  Now it seems that all these trailers we watched were R rated. 

 

Some other notable mentions of movies coming out-

“the Surrogates” with Bruce Willis- R rated, but as Sharel said an interesting concept.

 

“The Book of Eli” with Denzel- it is not rated as of yet, but it looks awesome- but only to me, Sharel thought it looked dumb.  Think Mad Max meets I Am Legend with Denzel carrying a sawed off shotgun and some weird machete/sword.

 

Patton Oswalt- of King of Queens- is breaking out in a dramatic role.  It looks very dark, and I think he will do good in it, because even his funny characters are pathetic.  The movie is “Big Fan”.  It too is R.

 

And, one I am actually looking forward to seeing, “Where the Wild Things Are”.  Looks like it will be a great movie, although I think the monsters will give our kids nightmares.  (if you watch this on youtube, make sure to look for a video response called “Everyone Poops”, you won’t be disappointed, I promise.  Well, if you are an Olsen with an inbred sense of potty humor, you won’t be disappointed.)

 

And if you like the Johnny Depp/Tim Burton super duo of weirdness, then wait no further- “Alice in Wonderland” with Captain Jack playing the Mad Hatter.  What a surprise.  Really. (Honestly, it looks like Willy Wonka just in a different movie).

 

And a plug for the movie Sharel wants to see- “Julia/Julia”.  I must admit that it doesn’t look too bad as far as chick flicks go, at least she isn’t gonna make me watch “Twilight”.

 

Hope you enjoyed this break from politics.

 

One more thing- Glenn Beck is totally awesome- he made liberals all over squirm when he said he took a gun to a movie theater last week and didn’t shoot anyone.  I wonder what kind of gun he carries…

There is a discussion on a board  asking this question- so far half think it is some sort of Sig, the other half some sort of 1911.  I don’t know where I lean, probably towards a 1911 commander model.

 

Peace- I’m out

 

Grant has begun to call Winnie the Pooh, Winnie the Poop. 

 

It had no prompting from me whatsoever.  He just one day said he wanted to watch Winnie the Poop.

 

Carry on.

Peace- I’m out.

Here's some hope and change for ya...

It seems the American people are just not buying the socialized healthcare routine.  Finally, people are starting to wake up and are not afraid anymore to tell pollsters they disagree with the One.  And this is having some frustrating results for the President.

 

First, though, I would like to give some shout outs to some republicans that have finally grown some hair on their chest and are willing to fight back-

Jim Demint- Matt Lauer interviewed him the other day, and said "People are saying that you are playing pure politics with this issue," and pressed "Are you rallying conservatives to the cause of health care reform? Or are you rallying conservatives to the cause of breaking a President?" obviously trying to paint this fight as some sort of personal vendetta against Obama. 

Kudos to Demint for responding- “we need to put the brakes on this President. He's been on a spending spree since he took office. And we need health care reform. Unfortunately, when the President was in the Senate, I've probably offered more health care reform proposals than anyone in the Senate. And the President voted against every proposal that would have made health insurance more available and more affordable to people. His goal seems to be a government takeover, not making insurance more available. So I do think we need to stop the President on this. We need to stop his policy, because if we allow him to continue to ram things through Congress before we even get a chance to read them.”   Can you imagine two months ago if this had been asked to a normal republican- his response would have been conilliatory and apologetic to the president, followed with a vow to stand with the president no matter what.

Second shout out goes to Michael Steele, who came out and called the plan “socialist”.  Finally calling a rose a rose and a turd a turd.

 

Now, politicians have an incredible sense of self preservation, to the point of pushing women and children out of the way to get to the life boat.  The Democrats are starting to feel this, and it is evident in their reactions.  Charlie Rangel was overheard to say that no one has the guts to tell Pelosi to slow down, and certainly no one will tell the president that.  Seems to me that some democrats are not too happy with the way Pelosi and Obama are playing with their political futures.  Obama had a private meeting (so much for transparency in govt.) with the Democrats that are pushing back against him, and one congressman, Chuck Grassley of Iowa says he heard that Obama told these democrats they were going to “destroy” his presidency.

 

Finally, as communist as we think the Networks are, money still speaks- Obama wanted to have a press conference (and I use the term press conference very loosely) on Tuesday.  But, NBC said no, because they were going to air a Susan Boyle interview that night and are expecting massive ratings.  Obama is probably crying in his cheerios, or should I say Obamaeeos (after all, they are little letter O’s, so Rahm Emanual told Obama they were named after him.)

 

Peace- I’m out

 

 

Some Random Thoughts

It sucks being sick- especially stomach related sickness, as I have had all week.

 

Why do we put up with this, I am not talking liberals or conservatives, but on a whole- why do we tolerate this type of behavior from our elected officials-  apparently the Dems in the House are not allowing debate and forced votes on amendments to occur on this massive budget proposal.  Their reasoning- they don’t want to be forced to vote on one item in the budget- such as handing blow out to junior high school kids- so their vote cannot be used against them in their upcoming elections.  Now to be fair- when the republicans were in charge they tried to do the same thing.  But why do we just let this pass, them basically telling us they don’t want us to know where they stand.  So when they are criticized for voting in the 2009 Coke Distribution Act of 2009, they can lie and tell us that although they didn’t agree with the amendment, the pros of the rest of the bill necessitated a yes vote. (No, there is not an amendment to hand out cocaine to teenagers, but there is an amendment advocating and sanctioning the financial rape of anyone making over $350,000 a year.)(and rape is not too strong of a word to describe what they want to do.)

 

New GI Joe movie?  Looks awful.  And a tell tell sign it will be awful- the only ads I have seen for it are on Nickelodeon, usually the commando hamster trailers follow the GI Joe trailer.  If it was meant for anyone old enough to have actually seen the cartoon and owned the action figures, they would not be advertising it at the beginning of iCarly.  You think they promoted the Dark Knight between bouts of the Penguins of Madagascar and Spongebob?

 

Kurt Russell in “Soldier”- Awesome sci-fi movie.  I know some will disagree.  But I have placed it in my top 5 sci-fi movies.  Intellectual and artsy fartsy alert (Maybe Merilee will be the only one to appreciate this)- Kurt Russell did an awesome job in his character- especially since his character had less than a dozen lines.  Very deep.

 

Reign of Fire- Matthew McCougnahysfyyheyyyysf (too lazy to look the spelling up) in by far his best, pot addled, character ever.  HIS LEATHER BOMBER JACKET GOTS NO SLEEVES!!!!! Truly magnificent- especially in the portrayal of Americans once again having to save the world from imminent destruction.

 

Sons of Provo still makes me laugh like it is the first time I’ve ever seen it.

 

100 round of .45 ammo- $32.00

1,100 rounds of .22lr- $34.00

Shotgun trade for a Sig Mosquito- priceless.

 

I can now shoot way more often.

 

Tendonitis/carpal tunnel sucks big time- now I don’t get to shoot as often.

 

One final thing- and this is a broad statement- not meant to single anyone out, no one take offense please- but you guys who have Facebook accounts- and you know who you are- are in serious jeopardy of losing your man card.  Just sayin. 

 

Peace- I’m out!

Example of more Government Idiocy

Why can’t government ever do the most obvious and simple thing?  Is lack of common sense a prerequisite for elected office?  Or even bureaucratic service? 

 

There is a park in Johnson County, KS that has an overpopulation of deer.  (for those unfamiliar with Johnson County, just think “Rich, White Guilt.”)  Anyhoo, the deer are becoming a nuisance to the residents around the park, destroying their landscaping and carrying disease ridden ticks.  Just so you don’t get the impression the park is the size of a playground- it’s not.  It is a county park that is quite large 1250 acres.  Well, I think anyone reading this would see the most obvious and simple solution to thinning out the herd.  If you don’t see the most obvious and simple solution- stop reading my blog!

 

After months of hearing from hippie liberals about doing things like using a Star Trek transporter to beam the deer to a different location, the Parks Board and the county elected officials have come up with a brilliant plan.  For a mere cost of over $100,000 they will recruit police officers and park rangers.  They will then send them to receive specialized training in shooting a deer.  Then after the newly formed S.W.A.T.S.D.D.U. (Special Weapons Advanced Tactical Sharpshooter Deer Disposal Unit) receives it’s training, they will put food out, sit in a deer stand, and when Bambi starts eating his last meal- BLAM!.  Brilliant, just brilliant.  After killing the deer, they will then pay at around $100 a deer to have the deer cut up and sent to local food pantries- the ones who will actually accept the deer meat.  They plan on killing about 350 deer.  Do the math.  $35,000.

 

Of course, they could do this- have a controlled hunt where they have a very limited number of bow hunters come out, charge them $35 for a tag, and a $50 hunting fee.  They kill the deer, they take the deer home, they process the meat.  They could actually make $29,750 off of the whole thing.  In fact, from the response I heard on the radio, hunters would be willing to pay quite a bit more for the opportunity to hunt.  There is another park on the Missouri side that does this exact thing.  You pay a $20 application fee.  They draw a limited number of names.  These people attend a safety training class.  During a two week period of time, they can take as many deer as they can- but for each deer they kill, they have to buy a $20 tag.  This park makes money. 

 

Seems so simple to me.  But then again, I am not an elected official.

A few observations

Just a few things I have noticed in the political realm:

1.        Everyday the media’s love affair with Obama gets worse and worse.  I see a few cracks here and there, but for the most part, the media, or should I say the propaganda arm of the government, is holding strong in their joyful glee over Obama.

2.       Robert Gibbs has got to be the worse press secretary ever.  And it is just further evidence of the above point that the media tolerates the diarrhea that comes out of his mouth on a daily basis.  Example #1- Warning the media to be “exceedingly careful” about what they say about Comrade Sotomayor.  Example #2- When asked how much the NY date night cost, Gibbs stalled and finally evaded by accusing the media of picking on Obama.  I just don’t know how long the “journalists” in that room can take it, but they have surprised me up to this point.  I give it 2 more years.

3.       Brian Williams being awed and impressed that he saw Obama eating M&M’s in the White House.  Can it get any stupider than this?  Really?  I wonder how Brian Williams would feel if he saw Obama dropping a deuce in the Oval Office bathroom? 

4.       The George Tiller murder.  When I first heard about this, I was genuinely shocked and sad.  No one, even a guy like Tiller, deserves to be murdered.  We have a justice system, and when that doesn’t work, he will be judged in the eternities.  I also think this is going to set back the Pro-Life movement a good decade, just when more people believe in life than in killing babies.  I have been far more shocked and disgusted with the reverence that most media types are using when discussing Tiller.  Some almost seem on the verge of tears contemplating where women will go to have a late term abortion.  It is sickening.  It almost is making me lose my faith in humanity.  Well, at least the liberals out there who I am now convinced have no soul.

5.       Harry Reid’s face makes me want to punch someone.  There is something about it that makes me want to drive my fist into someone’s pie hole.  Weird, huh?

a funny

What did Mr. Sulu find in Captain Kirk’s lavoratory?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Captain’s log.

 

 

In order to distract myself from the, as Spencer so eloquently put it, “America Sucks Tour” I have been thinking once again about all the awesome movies I have seen.  I love movies.  But sadly some of them I will not see any more unless they are on TV because of their R ratings.  What movies do I long for?  Well, here is my top-ten list of movies that tempt my natural man.

10.  Blackhawk Down

  9.  Predator

  8.  Dirty Harry

  7.  The Untouchables

  6.  The French Connection

  5.  Saving Private Ryan

  4.  Terminator

  3.  T2

  2.  Die Hard with a Vengeance

  1.  Die Hard

 

And finally, the best definition of liberalism I have seen.

“Yes, something very ugly has surfaced in contemporary American liberalism, as evidenced by the irrational and sometimes infantile abuse directed toward anyone who strays from a strict party line. Liberalism, like second-wave feminism, seems to have become a new religion for those who profess contempt for religion. It has been reduced to an elitist set of rhetorical formulas, which posit the working class as passive, mindless victims in desperate need of salvation by the state. Individual rights and free expression, which used to be liberal values, are being gradually subsumed to worship of government power.”- Camille Paglia 2009

 

Obama and his teleprompter

So, Obama was getting some heat for relying too much on a teleprompter.  So he got rid of it.  Sort of.

I am so dumb I think no one will notice this.

Now Obama can make fun of retarded people, I mean handicapable, or intelligently challenged…or whatever they are calling the people that participate in Special Olympics.  It’s ok, because he is The One.

 

P.S.  I could really care less, I thought it was a funny comment, but then again I am an intolerant conservative middle aged male. 

AIG, Bonuses, American Idol, and other things I don't really care about...

Now, don’t get me wrong, I could care two licks about AIG and the bonuses.  Why?  Because I am a capitalist, and don’t really care what a private company does, or doesn’t do.  Bonuses?  Puhlease.  This is something that has backfired in the face of the democrats (and three republicans.) who rushed through a stimulus bill that no one read.  So, now they are trying to paint AIG as a bunch of Cheney-like Blackwater Evil Corporation Conglomerate to take attention off of their lack of attention.   In case you have been asleep, our favorite financial guru Chris Dodd shoved an amendment in there ok’ing bonus packages for companies receiving bribes, err, uh, bailout money.  It is even conveniently called the ‘Dodd Amendment.’

Now, I suppose everyone would think that someone in the current administration would have to fall on the sword in order to protect ‘The One.’  Not so.  That oldest of old political instincts have kicked in, and this little gem of a story is now out there.

 

I think the only thing AIG is guilty of is, well two things, Executives that ran the company into the ground, and taking money from the Gov’t.  I am also truly surprised that Dodd, a democrat, is challenging the Premier, er, I mean President.  Any bets on how long it takes for Dodd to turn up dead (politically)?

 

Peace- I’m out.

 

 

Children and small miracles

It is always heartwarming to see one of your kids working through a problem on their own.  You can really get a glimpse of what they are truly capable of without any parental help.  It is amazing to see these moments, and nothing makes a parent more pleased than to witness such situations.  Just the other day, Eryn read a random title out loud from the tv.  She didn’t need any help.  Nor did she hesitate even a second in trying to figure out what the words were.  To watch Grant try to figure out how the remote works, or how to open some sort of contraption is nothing short of watching a genius at work.  This may sound trite to some, but when you witness your own offspring and see their potential it is a miracle in and of itself.  Just this morning another one of these small miracles occurred, and Sharel was able to witness it unfolding.  Rachel had just gone into the bathroom, and after a few moments Sharel walked by the door and heard Rachel talking to herself.  “You can do it!” Rachel declared through a strained voice.  “You can do it!”  Seems Rachel had a stubborn turd and was pep talking herself to expel the aforementioned turd.  As I said, there is nothing quite as satisfying as seeing one of your children become more independent and take matters into their own hands. 

 

P.S.  everything came out ok in the end.

 

I know, I know...

I know I said it was going to be an Obama Free week, but this is just too much to keep quiet on.  Seems Obama wants to charge wounded Vets for their healthcare, specifically charging the soldiers private insurance companies for wounds received in combat.  Does this a-hole have no shame?

 

http://news.yahoo.com/s/usnw/20090316/pl_usnw/the_american_legion_strongly_opposed_to_president_s_plan_to_charge_wounded_heroes_for_treatment

 

According to the story, the American Legion president asked to meet with Obama to discuss this idea the Obama people had to crap all over our soldiers.  Obama has said they plan to move forward with the plan.

 

Anyway, I highly suggest you post this story on your own blogs, so people can know that this is happening.  It was on the top of Drudge today, and last night, but I think the media is going to be silent on this one.  I for one hope he tries it, and by doing so commits political suicide.  There are a lot more people in this country that support the troops, both conservative and liberal, than the 10,000 hippie, commie, code pink anti-war idiots out there.

 

I now return to an Obama free week…

Obama free week...

So, I was thinking that while Obama is still a fart head, I grow tired of ranting about all the dumb, communistic things he is doing.  I also believe that for the 4 people that read this blog, I am preaching to the choir. 

 

HEAR YE, HEAR YE!  Henceforthe the Grand Earl the Most Wise of Rockwood of Independence grants and declares this blog to be Obama free for the next week!  (Of course he will retain the Obama/Lenin graphic because it amuses the Grand Earl the Most Wise of Rockwood of Independence.)

 

So now I will be sharing an amusing and thought provoking blend of my deepest innermost fears and desires.  For example:

 

Innermost Fear:  A return of Captain Planet to brainwash my kids.

Innermost Desire:  A couple of more guns.

 

Innermost Fear:  Running out of TP after eating at Supertown China Buffet.

Innermost Desire:  Bidet

 

Peace- I’m out.

 

Random Thoughts and Musings...

ABC’s ‘Lost’- Sharel and I are like crack addicts when it comes to this show.  At times we question why we are even wasting our time watching it, and vow to not watch it again, yet every Wed. night at 8pm, we plop our rear ends on the couch, grab the remote and another night of self-loathing commences.

 

Ammo- They can’t make ammo fast enough to keep it in stock.  Anywhere.  Sure wish I worked in an ammo factory.  Maybe the economy is bad because people are pulling money out of the stock market to stock up on guns and ammo.

 

Speaking of ammo- I just read a book called “The Bias Against Guns.”  By John Lott, Jr.  It is obviously a very one sided book, meant to balance out the mountains of anti-gun books out there, but it does paint quite a picture of selective reporting from the media when it comes to guns.  A few fun facts…

1.       Car accidents are the number 1 killer of children under ten.  Where does accidental shooting fall?  Well, I don’t have the exact number, but kids under ten drowning in 5 gallon buckets was far greater than kids accidently getting shot with a gun.  Methinks we need some 5 gallon bucket control.

2.       The statistic that accounts for “children” being killed with a gun classifies “children” as anyone under 21 years old.  90% of the gun deaths found in this statistic are 16-20 year old gang members being murdered with guns.

3.       A news story about a gunman who opened fire at the Appalachian Law School was very skewed.  Seems a gunman opened fire on campus and 3 students, according to media reports “tackled him, and disarmed him.”  What 99% of the media did not report is 2 of the students ran to their cars, retrieved firearms and confronted the gunman.  They pointed their weapons at him, told him to drop his weapon and then 2 others ran up behind the gunman and tackled him.  When a reporter was asked about the missing pieces, he replied that he did not want to even give the idea that a gun could be used for good to the public.

There are quite a few other facts in there.  If anyone has an indoctrinated aversion to guns, guns in the home, etc, I would recommend this book.  I didn’t happen to agree with some of what he said, but he backs up all of his arguments with cold hard facts, something that the media seems loathe to do.  Why, for those of you who know how to decipher statistics, he has raw data in there for you to pore over and crunch your own numbers.  Let me clarify, the one thing I did not agree with was his argument against keeping a gun locked up in the home.  While I agree it should not be a mandatory thing to keep your gun locked up, and he makes some compelling arguments against keeping a gun locked up- backed up with cold, hard, facts, -personally I will keep my guns locked up, although quickly accessible.  Just really more of a personal preference, but it is hard to argue against the facts he presents. 

60 years ago, a ten year old could walk down to the hardware store with $25 and buy a WWII surplus 1911 and a box of ammo.  If there wasn’t a hardware store nearby, $15 and a Sears Catalog and he could have a rifle shipped right to his door.  Schools in NYC had shooting ranges in their basements, as every high school had a rifle team.  Kids carried guns into school every day without a problem.  Certainly things have changes, kids seem to be more detached from society, and less responsible, but the culture with the media’s help have equated guns in most of our minds with small pox or the plague.  Something to be scared of and avoided at all costs.  It really has become an irrational fear in our society.

Music Guy knows my stance on guns, and he says he can respect that,  as his dad and intellectually inferior brothers are all gun owners.  But, he has fallen into a common trap that the powers to be have set.  He fully believes he is an advocate for gun rights, except he thinks that evil, black, assault rifles are well, evil and should be banned.  Of course, he is the same type of guy that thinks no one should be able to buy SUV’s.  See, this is just the type of thing that infuriates me.  Liberty, as far as I can tell, enables us to make choices.  Restricting and banning really does take away our liberties.  Most of the 2^nd amendment people are trying to preserve some individual rights, its more symbolic of our rights as people rather than it being about guns. 

The socialist, or ‘progressives’ try to convince people that they are still retaining freedom of choice, but in reality are taking it away.  What they give you is this-“You can choose this chocolate candy, or you can choose this sugar-sweetened cocoa confection.”  Wow, I have can choose chocolate, or…chocolate.  Progressive liberals seem to be very good at this.  Many good, intelligent people often fall for this.  We see it with trucks, guns, food, etc.  The prevailing argument seems to be “Insert noun here is not really necessary.  People don’t really NEED insert noun here.”  When did the American Dream become attaining only what we need?  It is just more collective, populist thinking of the good of the many outweigh the good of the few.  Spock really was a communist, wasn’t he.

 

Peace- I’m out.

 

Now for something completely different...

I grow tired of politics, so I will be switching gears and talking about movies.  I love movies.  Here are some of my favorite movies in no particular order of favoriteness.

Red Dawn

Equilibrium

Good, Bad and the Ugly

For a Fistfull of Dollars

The Dark Knight

Batman Begins

Rocky I, II, IV

The Patriot (not the steaming pile of dog doodoo with Steven Segal, the one with Mel Gibson)

Sons of Provo

Cinderella Man

Copland

Tombstone

X2

Braveheart

The Hunt for Red October

Patriot Games

Roadhouse (Only because it is soooo incredibly bad.)

Dirty Harry

Kelly’s Heroes

There are more, but time runs out, so more later.

 

BREAKING NEWS FLASH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Obama’s hair is going grey!  GREY!!!!!!!!! Tune in at 6 for this urgent news bulletin as we discuss the possible reasons why his hair is going grey and what this means to you and your family.

 

 

 

CNN Headline News in progress:

 

Karl the anchor:  We have Professor Rosefart with us from Wedon’tstink University here to discuss this fascinating phenomenon.

 

Rosefart:  Thank you for having me on.  There are really only two reasons why this is happening.  To understand more fully, we need to look back to the change that Moses went through when he received the 10 good suggestions.  As he spoke to God, or Allah, or anyone or all of the Hindu gods, or perhaps even the Native American Half Coyote, Half Penguin God , his hair turned grey.  Now we all know Moses is a myth, but often times these types of folklore do in fact have half truths.  Moses was a very wise and revered leader, smarter than all the Israelites and he saved them from their slave masters.  Obama is much the same as a modern day moses, saving us all from the slave masters of Capitalism. If anyone has any doubt about this Moses-Obama connection, just look at his hair.  This is a consensus and the debate on that point is now over.

 

We really don’t even need to discuss reason number two, as it involves a strictly physiological explanation of as a person gets older, and sometimes with added stress, hair can turn grey.  But, this can quickly be refuted as Obama is young still, and has parties every Wendsday night at the White House.  This means the only possible explanation is Obama is so incredibly wise and smarter than all of us that his brain power has turned his hair white, much like Moses, or whoever the figure was that Moses was based on.

 

Karl:  There you have it, the science is settled, the debate is over.  Obama is smarter than all of us and will free us from being wage slaves to capitalism.  All Hail Obama!!!!!  And before we let you forget it, Rush wants our dear leader to fail!!!!!

 

 

 

 

RE: Yesterday's Post

A few things:

Yes, I resorted to the lowest possible form of humor- the fart joke.

No, I am not ashamed.

Yes, there will be more Obama Fart posts.

Why?  Because it amuses me.  And I think Obama is a fartface, and it just so happens that many photos of him depict him with a post fart expression.

 

 

To more serious deep thoughts-

I just read a book about the Marines in Fallujah.  It was called “No True Glory” I believe.  After reading the book, I am fully convinced the US Marine Corps is the most fierce and awesome fighting force known to man.  But what really struck me is some of the stories of their General, General James Mattis.  They had some photos in the book, and one was of Mattis.  He is old, and looks like an old farmer grandpa.  He has gray hair, droopy neck fat, and huge saggy ears.

 

So, this old guy kicks rear-end.  Here are some stories out of the book:

While driving to Baghdad for a meeting with the Provisional Government, he hears over the radio that there are some Marines engaged in a firefight nearby.  Most Generals would probably make a note of it, and see if they could send some help.  What does Gen. Mattis do?  He directs his driver and his 12 vehicle convoy to the fight.  He spends the next three hours in battle gear directing his troops and calling in airstrikes.

 

The next story takes a little background, so bear with me.

Fallujah is the Arkansas or West Virginia of Iraq.  The people there are mostly illiterate and the rest of Iraq despises them.  It also happens to be where Saddam recruited most of his worst thugs to enforce his iron fisted ruling.  So, they enjoyed a certain amount of being feared by the rest of the country.  You can imagine what happened after Saddam was ripped from power.  Fallujah is also known throughout Iraq as gangster central.  Many competing tribes in that area make their living through extortion, intimidation and outright theft.

 

When the Americans came in, they shut down all these “enterprises.”  Well, that did not go over so well, and so Fallujah was one of the most dangerous places in Iraq.  To make a long story short, the Marines were told to take the town, sieze it.  When they were halfway done, political pressure came down and they were ordered to stop, and pull out.  Eventually they turned security and responsibility to quell the violence over to an Iraqi National Guard unit made up of some of the very people fighting against the Marines.  So, Americans were told to stay out, that Iraq would take care of the city on its own.

 

This created a lawless safe haven for every insurgent and terrorist who wanted to come and fight the Americans.  Kidnapping became the de facto sport of the city and most of the stories we heard about Americans being kidnapped took place in Fallujah.  The mayor of the city was also one of the biggest insurgent leaders in Iraq at the time.

 

Back to Gen Mattis.  Mattis wanted a meeting with the mayor in order to work out some sort of agreement to stop all the terrorism that was emanating from Fallujah.  The mayor agreed but wouldn’t come out of the city, he wanted Mattis to meet him.  The stipulation was that Mattis could only be accompanied by 9 vehicles, humvees only, no tanks or Bradley Fighting Vehicles.  Mattis’ staff urged the Gen. not to go, fearing an ambush, as at that time Mattis had a price on his head from the insurgents.  Mattis pulled macho stunt number one:

 

He said he was going to go, and hoped that he would get attacked, so the Marines would have an excuse to level the town.  He positioned most of his Marines just outside the city ready to fight.  Then he went into the city.

 

Nothing happened.  He got to the meeting with the mayor just fine.  Now came macho man stunt #2:  While in the meeting he kept expecting his men outside to be attacked, after all they were 30 Marines in the middle of a a very hostile enemy controlled city of tens of thousands.  He said that he figured that the second he heard shooting outside, he was going to pull his sidearm and put two bullets into that “SOB mayor’s head” before he was shot.

 

Fortunately, or as Mattis felt- unfortunately, nothing happened.  He was hoping beyond all hope that someone could do something because he needed a valid excuse to take out the city.

 

Anyway- I just thought this grandpa guy is a huge bad***.  Which makes the Marines that much cooler.

A Photo Essay...

Insights into Presidential Flatulence

It is a little known fact that President Obama is quite fond of his flatulence. My, how he loves to let a good one rip amongst his fellows, oft times surprising them in the process. Presidential photographers have been lucky enough to catch his reactions to his own gas and in doing so have opened up a never before seen side of the Chosen One. Now let us glimpse into the magical world of Presidential Flatulence.





"Mmmm, nothing like a cold glass of beer."

"BEER FARTS! Always funny."

"Yes, that was me..."



"Play it cool, man. Play it cool."



"Note to self: there is nothing funny about bratwurst and sauerkraut. Everyone loses"



"Did I just do that? Don't act like you're not impressed."



"Savor it, every little ounce of it. Close your eyes and let it become part of you."



"Wow...um...wow. Oh...thats potent. Uh...sorry...wow. I promised myself I wouldn't go with the brats and kraut. My bad."



"I gambled...and lost."



"I really need to stop with the brats and sauerkraut."